| Just a thought... |
[Nov. 22nd, 2007|09:02 pm] |
I have this amazing boyfriend right now. Things are going practically perfect with us with the exception of some things that I personally need to work on.. like my whole drama thing. I'm over all of the drama with everyone so stop bringing it to me.. and I'll be a lot less stressed all the time.
When I'm with Scott it feels like nothing can bring me down because he's just so amazing and has a lot to offer me. He's always telling me to not make him my life but to make him a part of my life. This is where my thought comes into play. How do I do that? I mean with most of my friends moved away it's kind of hard. All of my friends that are still here have other things going on with them that we just don't really hang out anymore. I try but we can never get our schedules to coincide with each other. Plus my friends also have boyfriends who they are with a lot. So it kind of makes it hard for me not to make him my life. I'm trying not to.. but I just don't understand that concept. I'm so in love with him, and I know that everyone thinks it's too early to be in love, but I don't. When I started hanging out with him we practically knew everything about each other with in a couple of days. I'm just so comfortable with him it scares me but I love every minute of it. He makes everything feel so pure and it amazes me how he does that. |
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| What did I do? |
[Oct. 11th, 2007|05:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
This is so incredibly difficult</3 |
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| ??? |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|10:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
Is it bad that I feel so out of touch with everyone and everything or is it just that so much is changing so fast that I can't keep track of it all? and for all of you wondering this is probably going to be a really emotional entry. I feel like I'm one of the outcasts that people only talk to when there is no one else there and that really sucks. People who I thought were my best friends have just had one huge turn around. Or is it myself that's had the turn around? Have I really changed that much that I no longer have that much stuff in common with any of my friends anymore. It seems like when ever I'm hanging out with just one of my friends it's all good but once it's myself and 2 other people they are too tied up in conversations that I'm just the 3rd wheel, that I'm only there so they don't feel bad for leaving me behind. Tonight I thought was going to be a lot of fun HSM2 party yes all of my friends some of which I haven't really seen all summer are going to be in the same room at once except there's still all that tension and I'm just the "3rd wheel". Everyone, well almost everyone, is leaving town for college 3 of which I was hanging out with tonight and who knows when I'll see them next. One happens to be one of my best friends and I feel really bad because I wanted to say bye, but all I did was kind of walk out pissed and and just said bye once for everyone but not really. Am I really that much of a changed person, or is it just time for me to find some new best friends. I don't really know but I guess this 1st year of college will make that tough decision for me. |
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| it's been a while and I feel like updating |
[Jul. 14th, 2007|12:26 pm] |
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This summer has yet to be what I was hoping it would be. There has been some drama, nothing that involoved me or anything, but stuff that involved some of my closest friends and I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about. The only crap that's been happening with me is basically stuff with my family for those of you who know that's great for those of you who don't I don't feel like talking about it. I've met some new people (as far as little trips to Sarasota go) and I've partied. You really don't k now exciting until you leave your house without saying a thing to your parents and end up in Sarasota getting completely shit faced.. not to mention you have work the next morning, talk about a hangover on the drive home. I do miss a lot of my friends, and I wish that things could go back to normal in a way, but I guess that's just the way life works. Anyways classes start on August 27th and I still have yet to register for classes. |
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| Truth/honesty time. |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|09:18 pm] |
So it's been a while since I've updated this thing. I just have a few things to say.
I know I'm a bitch and I overreact sometimes, that's just how I am and I can't help that. I know that I'm not an amazing person like I'd like to be all the time. I know that a lot of people probably talk shit about me behind my back, whatever I don't care you just better hope it doesn't come back to me. I definitely know that I don't deserve to be smacked for no apparent reason at all, and I will yell back, and don't bitch about me doing it bc I know that you would do the same. I mean seriously if you smack me for something like stealing your boyfriend go ahead I deserve that but for something so tiny as to move a lock from 0 to 1, I mean really immature much. Don't say that I'm not intimidating that just means that you havn't seen me really pissed off, oh and trust me you don't. I also know that I'm a horrible girlfriend, whatever that's been made clear.
NOW we're going to play a little game, be honest and tell me what you think about me, even if I already named it off in there, don't be a pansy about it. |
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| V-dub |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|11:29 am] |
So basically this has been a pretty damn good break so far. The first week I went to Ohio, it was nice seeing my family and hanging out with all my cousins.
The night I got back (saturday) Caroline came over and we went and picked up Jessy and then traveled to Walmart to get some saran wrap, lets just say we went on a little car tagging adventure, we got Meghan, Hannah, and Ethan's car. Ethan's was definately the best. I didn't get home until 2 in the morning.
Sunday (christmas eve) I slept in until 12, and then Jason came over (he drove) and we went to the mall so I can buy presents for my mom, brother, and sister. It was fun because I hadn't seen him in foreverrr it seemed. Then when we got back to my house we exchanged our gifts and he got me this really cute bath and body works thing (my fav. scent) so I'm in love with it. Then I went over to my cousin's house for dinner and to open presents from the family.
Christmas, was pretty chill I opened presents in the morning (and got a new iPod, and some other cute things) and then just laid around and ate all day. Later (around 8pm) I went over to Jason's house to hand out, and played poker with his 3 cousin's, brother, and Brian (interesting since Brian and I still weren't talking) The next day we made up and Brian and I are now communicating and everything is back to normal.
Who cares about the rest of the week there was some shopping, hanging out, denim and stelletos(sp?), sleep overs.
Friday I got to test drive a VW beetle, but before that I had to completely clean my van and all that. Come to find out that Friday night was the last night I would ever drive the Mexican Van again... I'm still a little heart broked.
Saturday when I was about to get in the shower, my mom knocks on the bathroom door and tells me my dad wants me to take all my stuff and do one final check to get everything I need out of my van. It was really depressing. Then I hung out with Brian and Nick, we went to the mall and dropped Nick off with Jason and his dad, then when we were leaving the mall, I called my mom (tofind out they got the beetle and were on their way home) so I went home and drove it around like all night. It's official, I'm in love with it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|10:32 pm] |
So drama is pretty much overrated, but sometimes it can be quite fun.
This week has been really rough. I really hope nothing extremely horrible happens to Jason. I think what his mom did this time is pretty fucked up, and all she has to do is make one little phone call and it'll all be over. Then he can move in with his dad and all will be well. I've seriously been crying since I first found out on Saturday night, not like 24-7 but I get random outbursts every once in a while. Sunday it was really hard to say goodbye, and then I found out that his mom wasn't going to let me go over there. He can only leave for school, and with his parents, it sucks. I was really excited about today though. I went over to his grandparents house to have dinner, and chat. I also hung out with Jason for like 4 hours, just talking, joking around, and not wanting to let go of each other (except when I was owning him in cards of course).
I really want to see Saw 3, bad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2006|01:39 pm] |
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Sometimes I wish that things in my life wouldn't have to get worse. This has seriously been the worse week ever. I don't know what I'm going to do. I kind of want to die. That might make it better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2006|10:14 am] |
**So not being in guard is different and yet it feels so great to have more free time on my hands, to just relax and hang out with some amazing people.
**Last night was awesome, the band did amazing. Guard you all looked wonderful.. as always. And it's always good to know that I have chaperones on my side when it comes down to the reason why I quit.
**After the band concert I went to Tijuana Flats (in Oviedo) with Jason and Taylor, then we met up with Brian, Nick, and Sean to go moonlight bowling. That was fun. Crazy crazy times. I love hanging out with the guys especially those guys. They are all so crazy and it's just insane time always.
**Homecoming is next Saturday, I love homecoming week, it's a lot of fun. All the school spirit is awesome. I'm going with Jason to homecoming, so it should be exciting. I love him with all my heart and he is such an amazing guy. |
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| :( |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|09:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | it's wierd but Malaguena keeps running through my head. | ] |
I miss band, I'm not gonna lie... I do have my regrets about quitting. I kind of wish that I just sort of stuck it to the man instead of leave. My mom wanted me to, but she said when it all came down to it it was my decision. It's not that I wanted to quit, it's that in a way I had to. I almost cried watching Malaguena last night, knowing that I could be out there at that moment preforming my heart out. It really was a great show, and it was completely different seeing it from the sidelines, but I loved it. You all looked wonderful, even if you messed up a few times. The one thing I don't miss is having to run back when 3rd quater break is almost over, I got to take my time. During 4th quater I sat in the stands next to the band and yet again I almost cried, esp at the end when they played the Alma Mater.
I noticed the fact that I got some wierd looks from some people when they were walking out for 3rd quater. Is it because it was wierd seeing me at the game and not being in uniform, or because they think I'm a quitter? Well I think that some people just need to hear the facts about why I quit, don't get all pissy at me because of it, just know that if Saturday would have turned out differently I'd still be in band. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 8th, 2006|10:18 am] |
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I will say one thing, I don't appriciate getting yelled at when I'm sick, and about to pass out. I love the people in band, and I love everything about it, preforming and all that jazz, but I hate the director, and some others. I'm going to be completely honest I'm done, Mr. L can go and be an ass hole, but I'm not listening to him anymore, I can't take it and he is very lucky that my mom was the one to pick me up yesterday and not my dad or there probably would have bneen a smack down. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
Ok so I have 4 projects and I'm done with one of them. I have 2 in english, one due tomorrow, that was assigned yesterday, and the other due friday and that was assigned Monday. Wow my teacher is really kind of pyscho. The other 2 projects are for Music Theory and economics, both dues on October 11th, haven't started either, and it doesn't help that I'm going to be in Tampa this weekend, yay for competitions. I guess it's kind of my fault that I'm in this situation because I could have started my Music Theory one at the beginning of the 9 weeks, and had it done by now, but no, it's my line of duty to be a procrastinator. Oh and did I mention I have to turn in an essay tomorrow that was due, no joke, 3 weeks ago. Damnit am I screwed. I'm under too much stress, and I'm hoping that the competition and trip to Busch Gardens calms me down a little, I need a weekend with all my band friends it should be a lot of fun.
I really need to talk to my guidance conselour to get all this college stuff straightened out, or I'm pretty much screwed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|06:08 pm] |
So apparenetly I pretty much suck at being a friend, that's cool I guess, If I've done something completely horrible to you, even something small tell so I know, because it's fun finding out things when theres shit going on with my family. Today was a great day. I'm glad I suck at life. Thank you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 9th, 2006|06:20 pm] |
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SO basically today was the 3rd day of school, 2 more days left of the week and the my 1st week of school is over, forever, no more 1st weeks in a public school system, I'm excited. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|12:16 pm] |
I can't believe there is only 1 week left of summer and I never have to go to band camp again... isn't it crazy?!?! At the beginning of the summer things started to drag of slow... It felt like we really weren't supposed to be out of school. Then summer school came and went. I went to warped tour, which was freaking amazing, got a boyfriend, who is freaking amazing, and didn't really work on getting a better tan... which really kind of sucks. Band camp seemed a tiny bit more laid back this year, I mean I guess it's good, but Mr. L has his mind set on other things this year like midwest.
6.5 more days until school starts, and I'm a fucking SENIOR!!!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|12:02 am] |
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So basically today was mine, and all the seniors last day of band camp with WPHS forever... unless someone fails. It was fun. the preview performance was awesome, there was a lot of people there, and to those of you that came, I love you all... and for anyone else.... you better have a damn good excuse :). Today was pretty laid back in band... more time outside... but we also had a lot of down time, like during the section face off... that was fun. Drumline deserved to win, they were awesome, even though Fluff needs to work on not marching turned out... because it doesn't look to great. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2006|11:09 am] |
So basically I have 6 more days of band camp, I'm excited, yet after this season is over I don't know what I'm gonna do without it. So far in the past 4 days of camp we have done fundamentals until our feet bleed, and have all the guard work done (except for the drum break) for part 1, and have all of drill chalked out on D-lot yeah I'm pretty much excited. We did a full run through last night, I am very happy.
So my parents, brother & sister just got home from their fun week at the beach, and I'm already being yelled at because the fucking pool is retarded. I mean they I had a week at band camp, and I had so much crap that I had to be sure stayed in order at the house that no I didn't pay much atten. to the fucking pool, I'm sorry I was home alone for a week, and they were at the beach having fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2006|10:45 am] |
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I wanna go to the beach.... before band camp, really bad. Ok I'm done. |
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| I love updating...? |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|07:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | not a damn thing | ] |
I havn't actually updated this thing, besides the fact that I had a lovely rant on my last entry. :)
So basically to let you all know, because I'm sure you are all very curious, I do have a boyfriend, and he is really awesome. No most of you do not know him for the main facts that well, he doesn't go to Winter Park, and he's not in band, which is different for me because since I've joined color guard the only guys that I have dated have been in band, but I'm done with all them. His name is Jason, and well (surprising to most) he is in my grade which is also something new for me.
At the moment I'm taking summer school for personal fitness, and it has been a boreing first 3 days because no one that I talk to is in my class, and the only people taking it that I talk to are Sean & Chris but they are in different classes and well I just sort of sit by myself for example when we went ice skating today, worst time ever... no joke. I hope bowling goes better, the walk there should be fun. I have 7 more days of hell.. I'm mean school then I'm off for 2 weeks then what else comes up, but band camp. I hope it's awesome like it should be. Hopefully there aren't any problems in our section this year, because I want my senior year to be a great one.
That's all for now. |
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| My rant about Mr. L |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|02:07 pm] |
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All I have to say is if I ever hear something come out of Mr. L's mouth about my grandfather, I'm gonna be pissed, does he even realize what the fuck he's doing to my grandpa, his life is teaching, he has all his degrees in CLARINET, he can play more woodwinds then there are in the Winter Park High School Band. He has traveled to play in different orchastras he put his life into music, and Mr. L is ruining that for him, and to top it off I have to hear about it all the time. I'm sick of this. |
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karebearbabe13's journal
annoyed